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Marriage
Reasons
for Marriage:
Marriage is a social custom that has been playing a unifying
role between the cultures since antiquity. Marriage lays the
foundation for a family. Hence, selection of girls for
marriage purpose must be done cautiously and carefully.
Acharya Vatsyayan dictates that a girl obtained from the
same caste, community or class with religious ways proves
helpful in attaining Dharma (religion), Artha (wealth) and
Kama (pleasures). Children begotten by such a lady gain
acceptance and respect in the society.
Suitable
Girl:
The woman also should have the
following characteristics:
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She should be possessed of beauty,
and amiability, with auspicious body marks.
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She should have a liking for good
qualifies in other people, as also a liking for wealth.
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She should take delight in sexual
unions, resulting from love, and should be of a firm
mind, and of the same class as the man with regard to
sexual enjoyment.
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She should always be anxious to
acquire and obtain experience and knowledge, be free
from avarice, and always have a liking for social
gatherings, and for the arts.
The following are the ordinary
qualities of all women:
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to be possessed of intelligence, good
disposition, and good manners
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to be straightforward in behaviour,
and to be grateful
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to consider well the future before
doing anything
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to possess activity, to be of
consistent behaviour, and to have a knowledge of the
proper times and places for doing things
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to speak always without meanness,
loud laughter, malignity, anger, avarice, dullness, or
stupidity
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to have a knowledge of the Kamasutra,
and to be skilled in all the arts connected with it.
The faults of women are to be known by the absence of any of
the above
mentioned good qualities.
Consideration
of Relation:
Even if you have found suitable girl to marry with,
consideration of her relations is very important. It is said
that, friendship
lasts with people of equal standard. This logic also applies
well to the marriage because marriage is a life-long friendship.
One should therefore strive to select a girl from his
similar status. Even if he has got a girl from the high
society, he should bring her to his own home after marriage
and should not agree to stay with his in-laws in any case.
Coaxing
of the girl:
Even after marriage, the groom cannot enjoy physical
intimacy with the bride
without winning her confidence. This chapter describes the
ways to win the confidence of the newly wed bride.
Abidance
to celibacy for three nights:
The bride and groom must follow celibacy for three days
after the marriage. During this period, they should sleep
separately on the floor, take plain food without salt or
sour. Thereafter they should take bath, adorn themselves
with ornaments, watch games and treat the guests.
Girl
fit for coition:
To decide this point, one should pay attention to three
things. 1) Age of the girl. 2) Development of her body and
3) Her monthly periods. Exponents of Kamasutra advocate
marriage of a twelve years old girl with a twenty-five years
old boy. They also say that intercourse of a sixteen years
old girl by twenty years old boy produces a healthy baby.
Those who have nothing to do with education may marry well
before attaining an age of twenty. Experts advocate that a
girl can be mated with immediately after her first menses.
If the body of a girl is healthy and sound, there is no harm
in intercourse at an age of twelve, experts say.
In the present modern age, population explosion has taken
the magnitude of the crisis. Hence, one should follow the
guidelines of his country's constitution regarding marriage.
Similarly, if one intends to have healthy children, he
should not opt for young girls for marriage. In India, the
constitution fixes twenty-one years for boys and eighteen
years for girls as the marriage age. Medical experts also
agree at these ages. But in big cities, people usually get
married in advance age.
GANDHARVA
VIVAH (Love Marriage):
Marriages are made in heaven but there are innumerable
hurdles in their way on earth. First of all, it is the
parents of the girl who put the greatest hurdle. Despite
knowing that it is virtually impossible to get a cent
percent groom, they continue to chase a ‘wild goose' for
their daughter. In their efforts, such parents miss scores
of suitable boys who could be well-matched grooms for their
daughters. If the girl wishes, love marriage could be a good
way out for her. Similarly, there are lot of barriers in the
marriage of poor but deserving boy. A rich but dependent boy
likewise faces many hurdles in his marriage. In all these
situations, love marriage is the best option.
Love
Marriage better than abduction:
Love marriage is the best option for those poor but
deserving people who are being denied of marriage. Such
people don't need to venture far and wide in search of a
bride. They may find one in their neighbourhood provided
that they have a vision. Almost, everywhere on earth,
whether in big cities or in a small village, there are girls
who aspire someone in their vicinity. But the parents of
such girls have serious objection over the relation of their
daughters with someone they dislike. However, if the girl is
ready and the boy is sure of his capacity to feed his
family, love marriage is the best way out for them. There is
literally no harm if the girl herself selects a groom for
her.
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