Sexual position


For new couples first starting to have intercourse

Missionary Position (person with a penis or dildo on top) In the missionary position, the person with a penis or dildo is on top and assumes the dominant role. The other person who is on bottom assumes the passive role. (Each person is lying down, stomach-stomach, face-to-face. Most people may be able to remember using this position the first time they had sex or in their early days of sexual experimentation.) It is one of the tried and true methods for intercourse. Unfortunately, this position gets a lot of bad press. It is considered 'gendered and old-fashioned". I believe this is a great position. The person on top has a lot of control over the degree of stimulation that they get and the person on bottom can easily increase their sexual pleasure by masturbating while simultaneously having intercourse. If the partner on top is especially coordinated, she/he could also help masturbate the person on bottom. Some of the techniques used to create an intimate environment are eye-to-eye contact, guiding your partners hip movements with your hands, massaging your partner's neck/back, nibbling the other person's ears, necks or lips. And of course, whispering something that only your partner can understand.

For the creative couple who want a new sensation

A slightly more technically advanced position, than the basic missionary position . . . for the adventuresome couple only. The person on bottom and the person on top switch leg positions. The person on bottom closes their legs (in the missionary position, the legs straddle (the person on top)). The person on top straddles the legs of the person on bottom. Visually, at least in my mind, it looks as if the person on top is doing a wide-legged push up. The benefit of this position is simple: for the person on top, additional stimulation to the penis/dildo and for the person on bottom, additional sensations on the inner thighs. Caution: the top position is (for a top that desires) a good physical workout. Expect to sweat.

Ideal for a heavy-set couple

A variation on the missionary position: The passive person sits on the edge of a chair or bed, and the person with a penis or dildo kneels in front of them. The person kneeling then uses his/her or hips to thrust. Neither person is putting weight onto the other person. As the person thrusting is perpendicular, his or her weight is used more efficiently. Sex is exercise and does burn calories. While this position requires a bit more co-ordination than the missionary position, it is often considered less intimate. Face-to-face contact, and whispering become less natural when not facing one another. However, this position does allow for great foreplay. The person with the penis/dildo is in an excellent position to explore their partner's genitals with their eyes, hands or mouth.

For the advanced, bored and/or uninhibited couple

Instead of assuming the missionary position, where the couple is head-to-head and toe-to-toe, one person should reverse their position, so that the two of you will now be head-to-toe and toe-to-head. Again, the difference between this position and the missionary position is that this time, the partners face the opposite direction of each other. Each person has a view of the other person's feet. Make sure your feet smell good! The angle of entry is different and often will require verbal communication. To make this work, the person on bottom will need to arch her/his pelvic area (back flat against the ground) and communication between the two of you will need to be stellar. The angle of entry is very different than what most couples are used to. I strongly suggest that the woman help guide the penis/dildo with her hand into the correct position. This is a great position for couples who want to try something new, and are prepared to make fools of themselves and be comfortable laughing about how hard this position makes lovemaking.

For a woman who wants to have intercourse for the first time

Woman on top is recommended for women who are having sex for the first time because it puts them in control of the situation. The woman is in a position to engulf the penis/dildo at her own rate of comfort. Of course the other person has some control of the situation too because they are constantly talking/sharing feelings throughout this whole experience. In this position, the person on bottom should tilt her or his hips, back flat on the ground. This allows for an angle that often many women enjoy. In this position, the person on top often lies atop with her legs stretched out or bent. Sometimes, she may sit straight up and slide up and down. Many women report that they really like this position because of the added genital stimulation (the vulva rubs up against the person on bottom's pelvic bone). In addition, men (again, if they are coordinated) can stimulate their partner's vulva (and/or breasts and/or other body parts) with their hands or women could masturbate themselves while having intercourse. Many people on bottom find this particularly pleasurable because of the added visual stimulation of seeing her breast. For a woman who appears self-conscious, I recommend telling the woman how much you are enjoying the way she moves, and how good it feels. This may help her relax. As she relaxes, she may start to enjoy herself more. Actually, this tip goes to all people. Positive reinforcement of pleasurable sensations/movements is a good way to encourage your partner to continue whatever she/he is doing.

For the couple who prefers to sit

This position is for those people who enjoy slow motion sex. The angle for intercourse is not conducive to vigorous thrusting. Position the person with the dildo/penis sits cross-legged on the floor. The woman sits on top of him, with her legs straddled around him. They are sitting face-to-face. This creates a perfect opportunity to hug for a few minutes and be intimate. Be careful that you do not fall over! Sitting on top of each other and maintaining stability is a formidable task for most people. Some people prefer facing the same direction. This is preferable for those who feel less coordinated or embarrassed. You do not have to face the other person. But hey, if you can not laugh about sex with your partner, are you ready to be doing what you are doing with them? Sex is funny. Great chairs include rocking chairs, kitchen table chairs and, of course, the chair in the office. Sex on a chair makes for a good study-break.

For the coordinated couple in a rush

A true quickie, for the super coordinated couple-- try standing and having sex. In the ideal world, both people would be of similar heights, or one person could be strong enough to lift the other person to reach the right level. Women need to tilt their pelvic, so that the vagina is forward, and easier to access. The person with a penis/or dildo either need to squat a bit or have the woman be on a small stool. However, if the woman is taller, then her partner may need to stand on the small stool. This type of intercourse seems to work well on staircases in an office building, down a dark alley, in the middle of a graveyard and other such forbidden places. I highly recommend at least one person wearing a skirt or some other such clothing, which will allow for easy access.

For the uncoordinated couple in a rush